Thank you to our students!

Our students (and student leaders!) have the biggest hearts!!! This morning, they surprised us with a generous donation for our Adopt a Puzzle Piece fundraiser. They shared that they had been secretly collecting money for weeks! 

"Thank you" does not even begin to express our gratitude to each of our students and leaders. This gift has helped to ease the financial burden of adoption. Your thoughtfulness and generosity means so much to us!!! You all are awesome! 

These students have been some of our biggest supporters and prayers warriors throughout this journey. We are so blessed to know that Baby Dunbar will have so many "big brothers" and "big sisters" to look up to. We love you all very much!!! 

What does "Active" mean?

Many of you know from personal experience, the adoption process has so many steps along the way.  There are many times when you have to hurry and quickly submit certain paperwork or make a quick decision only to immediately have to sit and wait for days to hear back or to move on.  It’s emotional, and definitely tries one’s patience, but it has also taught us (and continues to teach us) more about putting full faith in God.

We have to trust that God’s timing is perfect.  We have to trust that He will make it clear which situations to pursue.  We have to trust that He will provide health and safety for our future children.  We have to trust that He will provide the finances when we need them.  It’s all a process of hurrying up to finish this step, so we can just wait indefinitely for the next step to begin.

It’s hard to update everyone on the progress, when there are times we don’t even know.  However, for the sake of full transparency, we will attempt to update as best we can.

As we’ve mentioned, we are officially “active.”  That is an adoption word that basically means all of our paperwork has finally been completed and we are in a place where we could be matched to a birth mother at any time.  This is one of those “waiting” situations.  We wait to have situations presented to us (a “situation” is where a pregnant birth mother has decided to put her baby up for adoption when it arrives or it could be where a child is already born and has been put up for adoption).  Situations can come up at any point during the day or night.  Some allow us a day or two to pray over and decide, and some allow only minutes to pray and decide.

As we pray over the situation, we ask God if this situation is one for us to present to or not.  Sometimes, God allows a situation to come into our lives not for us to present to, but just for the purpose of us being able to pray for that mother and baby.  Then if we choose to present, the agency (at some point, timing ranges from that day to weeks later) will present our portfolio to the birth mother (along with any other families who chose to present) and she will choose which family she wants to bless with her baby.  At that point, once a birth mother chooses us and the situation is still feasible for us, we would be matched. 

So, that is where we are currently.  We are waiting for potential situations and praying over each one as they come and presenting to the ones to which God has lead.  It’s a very emotional time, trying to make sure we do exactly what God would have us do, but rewarding at the same time being able to pray specifically for these mothers and babies all over the country.

So, we ask that you continue to pray.  Pray for clarity and peace as we journey on.  Continue to pray for mental and physical health of our future children and for the health of the birth mother.  Pray for guidance and direction.  And, of course, pray much for the finances.

We still need to raise roughly $40,000 in order to make this happen.  If you would like to help by adopting a puzzle piece, please contact us at bringinghomeDbaby@gmail.com .  The updated available numbers are below: 
As of August 13 - We are making progress!  Thank you to those who have given already!  We wanted to update on the numbers that have been spoken for as of today (July 25).  Those numbers are: 1-8, 10-27, 29-31, 39, 45, 50-52, 57, 80, 88, 100, 106, 127, 173, 230 and 297-300.  All others are still available!  Thanks again!

(for more detailed information on Adopt a Puzzle Piece, check out our blog entry to the right, called “Adopt a Puzzle Piece and Help Us Bring Home ‘D Baby”)

Thank you and God Bless!

Jason & Caitlin

Adoptive Daddy

I'm beyond excited for us to finally become a family!  I can't wait to see Caitlin become the incredible Mom to our children that she already is to so many of the kids and youth in our lives!  And I can't wait to become a Dad, myself!  I have always wanted to be a dad.  I was blessed to grow up with an amazing Dad and Mom who were great role models, and I can't wait to see them become grandparents and my sister to become an aunt!

With that said, I just wanted to share a little from my perspective.  Before all of this, I was very unfamiliar with the whole world of adoption (and still have so much more to learn), but I didn't realize how little information there was out there specifically for adoptive dads.  I don't know about you or the rest of the world, but to me, the gift of fatherhood is one I yearn to receive, and I know the same goes for Caitlin and the idea of motherhood.  I use that word, "yearn," purposefully.  It means to have a strong desire for something or to have a tenderness or moving toward something.  With yearning, there is emotional  pain.  Wanting and yearning are completely different.  I want a lot of things in life; brand new car, big tv, the latest gadgets, etc.  All of these things are nice and of course, I'd like to have them, just like most of you would too.  But, I don't have any emotional pain pulling me toward any of those things.  Becoming a father is much deeper.  The desire is so strong and there is an emotional tenderness toward it that words cannot express.

I think so many adoptive dads are afraid to talk about it because it's not "manly" or may seem “weak.”  But to me, the strongest and most positive dad is one who is honest and open.  Adoption is an extremely emotional journey, and it should not be left up to the wife to carry it all alone.  The dads have to step up and be involved. 

But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ.

1 Corinthians 11:3a

I guess for me, one blessing I have received through this process is the gift of appreciation.  So many couples are blessed to have children with no difficulties at all, and many times without even trying.  That is such a wonderful thing!  And I celebrate with them in their joy!  However, the struggles we have faced have made us see babies and children in such a different light.  We appreciate the idea of parenthood in such a way that it is so precious and so fragile, and one that we will not take lightly. This is not to say others don’t appreciate being parents, because I know that is not the case.  I just mean that through loss and heartache, a deeper appreciation than words can adequately describe will emerge.  I can’t wait to “appreciate” fatherhood!

So, if nothing else, I hope that through this journey, I can be of some help to adoptive dads out there who are struggling through this process.  I most likely won’t know the answers to many questions, but I will absolutely be a prayer partner and a sounding board to any guys with the same yearning for fatherhood and may be looking into adoption. 

Thanks!

Jason

UPDATE:

We are still looking for friends and family to “Adopt a Puzzle Piece.”  Financially we cannot do this without the help of you all.  Please check out the latest update on the post “Adopt a Puzzle Piece and Help us Bring Home ‘D Baby!” 

****UPDATE**** July 25 - We are making progress!  Thank you to those who have given already!  We wanted to update on the numbers that have been spoken for as of today (July 25).  Those numbers are: 1-8, 10-15, 17-20, 24-26, 30-31, 39, 45, 50-52, 57, 80, 88, 100, 106, 127, 173, 230 and 297-300.  All others are still available!  Thanks again!

Adopt a Puzzle Piece and Help us Bring Home 'D Baby!!!

****UPDATE**** August 13 - We are making progress!  Thank you to those who have given already!  We wanted to update on the numbers that have been spoken for as of today (July 25).  Those numbers are: 1-8, 10-27, 29-31, 39, 45, 50-52, 57, 80, 88, 100, 106, 127, 173, 230 and 297-300.  All others are still available!  Thanks again!

We are finally finished with most of the paperwork!!!  We just got word today that we are officially active!!!  This is the time we have been waiting for!  We now wait for the situation God's designed for us to come along!  Thank you all for your prayer and support through this process.  Keep it up!

Now here comes the really hard part.  We have prayed about this for quite some time.  For those of you familiar with adoption or who have adopted, you understand the financial hurdle (details below).  This has been the one constant that has concerned us most from the beginning. However, we know God will take care of this hurdle.  For many, it is the one thing that keeps them from adopting at all.  The costs add up so quickly.

We really prayed hard about how to financially make it possible. We have saved ourselves, but there’s no way for us to be able to save enough. We have applied for grants and will hopefully receive some of those, but it isn’t guaranteed. At times, our pride has made us feel like we need to do this all on our own and prevented us from asking for help.  Over the last several months, people began asking how they could help us and we just kept telling everyone to pray. We didn’t realize that God wanted to use others to bless us. People wanted to pray, but they also wanted to do more. 

We were too ashamed to ask for help financially, until one person said to us, “You know, you need to realize that it’s a blessing for people to be able to help you some financially in this journey, and by not allowing them to help, you’re not allowing them to experience that blessing.”

That completely changed our perspective.  We then realized that so many people wanted to help out.  Some who have been praying for years along with us to have children, some who may not be in a place themselves to adopt, and some who simply wanted to reach out a helping hand.

So, with humble hearts, we ask for help.  There is no easy or elegant way to say that we cannot do this alone.  We need you.

So, how can you help?  Adopt a Puzzle Piece!  We have puzzle pieces numbered 1-300.  Each number represents that corresponding dollar amount (ex., #1 is $1, #157 is $157, etc.).  We are asking everyone to adopt a numbered puzzle piece and give that amount.  You can adopt a combination of numbers or even adopt a number as a group or family.  Each person will receive a puzzle piece (or pieces if you adopt more than one) as a keepsake and prayer token to help remember to be in prayer for our soon-to-be growing family!  We will keep this page updated on the available numbers as we go along. (If you have already given through the church, we thank you!!!  If you would like that gift to be applied to a puzzle piece(s), please let us know and we would be happy to do that!)

We will also have a matching puzzle piece that will have your name (family or individual name) on it.  When complete, the puzzle will be hung in a double-sided frame with the picture on one side and the names of all those who gave sacrificially and prayerfully for this child to be in our arms.

How do you give?  There are a couple options.  We have set up a PayPal account for those who would like to give electronically (Donate below).  You can also give directly with a check via mail, which is the preferred method (email us at bringinghomedbaby@gmail.com for our home address).  All amounts are appreciated.  This would not be possible without you!  Thank you in advance for blessing us through your outstretched hand!

So why does it cost so much?  Well, that is a good question.  Our situation could be as much as $40,000 plus $5,000 for consulting and home study fees, totaling $45,000.  Here is a breakdown of average costs for a domestic adoption (these are estimates, not exact):

Adoption Consultants/Referral Firm -  $3,500

Home Study - $1,500

Agency Fees - $15,000

Court/Legal Fees - $2,000 - $4,000

Documentation - $500

Birth mother expenses - $5,000

Hospital/Health expenses - $10,000 - $15,000

Travel/Hotel expenses - $3,000 - $5,000

Post Placement fees - $500

Miscellaneous - $500 - $5,000

It is hard to be exact because every situation is so different.  Of course, we pray it will be as inexpensive as possible, but that is out of our control.  If you have any questions or would like more details or clarification, please don’t hesitate to contact us at bringinghomedbaby@gmail.com.

Our Story

Just over five years ago, I was blessed to marry the love of my life.  She is far better than I deserve and I still wonder how I got so lucky and if she will ever realize how much she got ripped off!  I Thank God for her and I cannot wait to see where God leads our lives in the many years to come.

I wanted to share a little more about our journey to adoption so that through our story, others may find strength. Over four years ago, Caitlin and I decided to start trying to begin having a family.  We quickly began to realize things weren't exactly right.  We sought medical advice and prayed a lot.  Finally, months later, we found out we were pregnant.  We were beyond excited!  We were even far enough along to get to see the baby and watch and hear the heartbeat.  We shared with our families and they were so happy.  Then a few weeks later, we knew something was wrong and immediately went in to the doctor where we were told we had lost the baby. Devastation didn't begin to express how we felt.  

We then began the life-long journey of healing.  

We will always mourn the loss of our first child, but we seek joy in the trial (James 1:2-4).  I have found the experience to be helpful in ministry.  I (and Caitlin) have been able to relate to people with similar struggles on a level that others simply cannot. We also realize there are so many others who have suffered similar losses and ours is no worse than those. We want to share our story to help shake the stigma of shame that miscarriage seems to carry along with it.

Revelation 12:11a says, “And they overcame him (Satan) because of the blood of the Lamb, and because of the word of their testimony.”

My prayer is that our testimony will help others; that through our struggle and journey of faith, others will gain faith as well.  I pray that God uses us to help others for years to come.

After the loss, we sought fertility specialists and tried hormone treatments for months with no results.  After much prayer, Caitlin and I felt that we needed to stop the treatments and just give it to God.  We have not been able to get pregnant since the miscarriage, but we have faith that God is in control and will bless us in His time.  

We had always discussed adoption, but until last year, we were never both ready at the same time.  Then, suddenly, in December of 2014, God convicted us both and we just knew it was the right time and we began the adoption process.  We haven't given up on having biological children, but that is all up to God and His perfect timing.  We are called now to adopt and we are so thankful that God has called us to do so.

Of course, for those of you familiar with adoption at all already know this, but our biggest obstacle is the financial hurdle ahead.  We will share more about that soon.  Until then, please pray specifically for the health of our future children, health of the birth mother, and finances.  Thank you so much!

God Bless,

Jason