Peace in the Process - Kristin Hill Taylor

The first-year teacher was discussing the life cycle of a mammal with a dozen first- and second-graders when she drew upon comparison to shield the bulk of the bird and the bees talk: “You know, like you were born from your mom.”


My daughter Cate decided to inform her class: “I wasn’t in my mom’s belly. I’m adopted.”
I’m sure she caught her teacher, who was just twenty-two years old, off guard. But that was that.


But the story said more to me.


It made me thankful Cate recognizes her birth story is different than most of her friends yet she isn’t ashamed to share it. Being adopted is normal for her because we’ve talked about it since the day she was born. These are the conversations we have regularly, each time revealing more details about her birth mom, our time with this young woman who helped us have a family, and her birth we witnessed.

In 2013, Cate wanted to know more about the seven nights we spent in the hotel waiting for the interstate adoption paperwork to be approved by folks in Indianapolis and Frankfort, Kentucky. I showed her pictures of her birth mom for the first time on her sixth birthday. It was the sweetest, most revealing adoption conversation we had shared up to that point.


This topic is an ongoing dialogue around our house. The word “adoption” has long been in Cate’s vocabulary, but we gradually elaborated on the details of her story with her. From the time they were just days old, strangers have told us how much Cate looks like me or Ben resembles my husband’s family. Sometimes we grin and nod. Other times we let them in on this story of ours.


My husband and I are raising a girl who remembers details and isn’t afraid to tell the truth along with a boy who embraces life to its fullest. We’re bringing up two of the best things God has ever done for us. Adoption is the story of how we became a family. It’s one I will tell over and over as long as someone listens. And now I’m glad to know my girl will tell it, too.


*****


Cate is my oldest of my three kids, all of whom were adopted as newborns through domestic, private processes. She’s 10 now. Her brother is Ben, who turns 8 this month, and Rachel, who is 2. I tell the story of how God made us a family – and built my faith through doing so – in my book, “Peace in the Process,” which is available on Amazon. This post is an excerpt from that book.

Kristin Hill Taylor believes in seeking God as the author of every story and loves swapping these stories with friends on her porch. She lives in Murray, Kentucky, with her husband and three kids and shares stories at kristinhilltaylor.com.

Book link – bit.ly/PeaceInTheProcess

Our Next Adventure...

     We are so excited to share what God is doing in our lives! Over the last couple years, God has really been impressing upon our hearts to shift our focus solely on student ministry. Of course, this was a little bit scary to us, as there have been so many unknowns and lots of giving up control to God. We spent a great deal of time praying for guidance, direction and the right timing. 

     Jason has been called to be the student & college pastor at Woodburn Baptist Church, right outside of Bowling Green. Please pray for Jason as he begins this new ministry and also pray for our new students. We have already meet so many wonderful people at Woodburn and they have made us feel right at home. 

     

     Last week, Caitlin was hired as an 8th grade math teacher in the Warren County School system. She is very excited to begin her career in education, especially as a math teacher! Please pray for her as she begins work tomorrow and will be traveling quite a bit until we find a home in Bowling Green. 

     Charleston has already made lots of friends in Bowling Green, which we are very thankful for! She is now almost two-years-old (so hard to believe) and full of energy and excitement! Please pray for her as this will be a big change, since Marion has always been her home. Also, remember our parents during this time--this will be the farthest we have lived from them. 

     We absolutely love our MBC church family and this community and will miss you all terribly! (So please stay in contact!) Our MBC students are truly like a part of our family and we cannot imagine how difficult it will be not to see them on a regular basis. However, we know this is exactly where God is calling us at this time in our lives and we are excited to begin this new adventure! Please pray for us during this time of transition, especially as the month of August will be a bit chaotic. As always, thank you so much for being our prayers warriors and an awesome support system! We love each of you and cannot say "thank you" enough!

Lamentations 3:22-23 - The faithfulness of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning.

Adoption Update

Five months ago, our lives were changed in the absolute best way possible. Our precious baby girl, Charleston Kate, was born. ! It has been an amazing whirlwind ever since!

On October 19^th, a few days before Charleston was born, we had the opportunity to speak with our birth mom for the first time. This was a huge relief because we had previously been told that she was too nervous and didn’t want to speak with us. However, we were really nervous, too…maybe even more than she was! We were able to talk with her for quite awhile; she asked questions about us and we were able to get to know her. It was a great experience!

Leaving the airport!

Two nights later, we got a phone call from our case worker in Utah. She told us our birth mom had gone to the hospital and that we should start packing. She called back a couple hours later and said to book the earliest flight we could, our baby would be arriving soon! Needless to say, we barely slept that night. The day we had been waiting and praying for was finally here! On Thursday morning, we flew from Nashville to Denver and then finally to Salt Lake City. The anticipation was awful…it literally seemed to take ALL day to get to Utah.

Charleston Kate

When we finally arrived in Utah, our caseworker met us at the airport and escorted us to the hospital. The excitement was overwhelming!! The moment we had prayed for so long for was about to happen. We were finally about to meet our sweet baby girl!

The moment was even more perfect than I imagined it would be. We were taken to a room off of the hospital nursery where we got to spend the rest of the evening with Charlie. Leaving her at the hospital that night (and the following two nights) was so hard. Thankfully, the nurses were so nice and even allowed us to come in early and stay much later than visiting hours. 

Our first family photo!

Our birth mom had some complications and didn't feel well on Thursday, so we were not able to meet her until the following day. Throughout the weekend, we were able to spend a lot of time with her and really get to know her. We had been pretty nervous about this part (Would she like us? What if we weren't who she was expecting? Would we be able to help her be confident in her decision?) it was truly a tremendous blessing for all of us. After meeting her, we had a great amount of peace. We learned so many things about her and her family that we will be able to share with Charleston when she is older. It was really neat to hear why she chose us. All the paperwork was signed Friday night and everything will be legally finalized in April, when Charlie is 6 months old. We are counting down the days! 

We spent a week in Utah before being cleared to leave the state and return to Kentucky. While in Salt Lake City, we were able to stay with a family that are church planting. They were a huge blessing to us!! It has been amazing to see how God worked out every single detail perfectly. 

Finally home!

We were able to fly home much sooner than anticipated. Charleston was able to meet her grandparents, aunt and uncle as soon as we landed in Nashville and they have been spoiling her ever since! 

It's hard to believe that 5 months have already flown by We absolutely love being Charlie's parents and are constantly amazed by her! She loves eating baby food and cereal...so far, she hasn't met a food she didn't like. She also loves being talked to and playing in the floor. Her newest accomplishments include sitting up on her own and crawling backwards.

Charleston Kate's first Easter

Family Easter at MBC 

We ask that you continue to pray for our birth mom to know the love of God and be filled with a constant peace about her decision. We also ask that you continue to pray for us as we learn to be godly parents and work to pay down the debt related to adoption expenses. Again, we cannot thank you enough for your love and support!!

The faithful love of the Lord never ends! His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each morning. - Lamentations 3:22-23

                                  

Caitlin

The Waiting Game

     We have become accustomed to having access to anything we desire at our fingertips. We can send and receive messages to and from our friends within minutes, instantly stream music, movies and TV shows and even find the answer to almost anything on Google. We can even receive free food at a fast food restaurant if our order takes more than a couple of minutes. Let's face it, waiting has increasingly become more and more of an inconvenience to society. No matter what stage of life we are in, waiting always factors in somehow...as children, we excitedly wait for Christmas morning, for teenagers, waiting to turn 16 and get their driver's license seems agonizing and many adults count down the days until vacation kicks off. 

     Over the last several months, God has really been speaking to my heart about waiting. Honestly, I've been putting off writing (and even publishing!) this post as long as I could. Psalms 62:5-6 says:

"Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken."

     I've read both verses so many times. Through our adoption journey and all of my impatience, it is finally sinking in. This whole process has been a series of waiting, what seemed to be roadblocks and learning to let go of control. Giving up control is a major struggle for me...I'm the kind of person that puts an address in the GPS for places I go every day just to know exactly what time I will arrive. 

     We officially began the process in January by filling out tons and tons of paperwork. You really wouldn't believe the amount! Often, we would fill out one application, mail it and then wait for a background check or approval before we could begin the next step. Eventually, the paperwork was complete and we were ready for our home study, contract paperwork and profile. After what seemed like FOREVER, we were finally active!! Then came the fun part...we were able to begin presenting our profiles to birth moms. We thought this would be the easiest part of waiting, but I think it's actually the most nerve-racking. However, we know God has the right baby chosen for our family! 

     As we have struggled with waiting during this journey, we have constantly been reminded of God's grace and His completely perfect plan. What I had been looking at through frustrated, confused and impatient eyes, I'm now starting to see as ways for God to be glorified in all aspects. We see so many examples of this throughout the Bible. The name of the Lord is made known through the periods of waiting, crazy circumstances and things way beyond our understanding. Whatever you are waiting for, whether it be big or small, trust in His amazing plan and perfect timing. Lamentations 3:26 says:

"So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord."

Caitlin     

Thank you for your continued prayers and support!! It would not be possible for us to "Bring Home D'Baby" without you! With that being said, we are still in need of a large amount of funding to offset expenses. Would you prayerfully consider adopting a puzzle piece? The following numbers are still available:

28, 32-36, 38, 46, 48-49, 53, 55-56, 58, 60-61, 64-79, 81-87, 89-99, 103-105, 107-112, 114-126, 129-130, 133-146, 149, 151, 154-167, 169, 171-172, 174-186, 188-197, 199, 201, 203, 205, 207-211, 213-221, 223-229, 231-249, 251-268, 270-285, 287-295

T-Shirt Fundraiser! 

All shirts are a super-soft material and are available in the following sizes:

2T-4T $21.00

YXS - YXL $21.00

Adult S - Adult XL  $21.00

Adult 2X & Adult 3X $23.00

You can purchase shirts from Joe & Janet Dunbar, Mike & Annette Jones, Jennifer Dunbar, Brennan Jones, Ashley Morries or from our website:

bringinghomeDbaby.bigcartel.com

The 'Hard' of Adoption

On the surface, adoption looks difficult and overwhelming, but that’s mostly due to the paperwork and the crazy amount of hoops you have to jump through.  However, that’s not the “hard” of adoption.  As we promised, we want to be transparent throughout this journey so you would know how to pray for us and so we can help others in the same situation feel less alone, so that’s what we are trying to do.

As you know already from reading our other blog posts, there have been some major struggles along our journey to become parents.  Infertility is a very dark and defeating “predator” that seems to consume it’s “prey” from the inside out.  It’s such a lonely situation because for some reason, it’s hard to talk about.  Then through the loss of our first child in pregnancy, the darkness moves in even tighter.

God placed adoption on our hearts long ago, even before we were married.  We, of course, had different plans on the timing of it all, but he revealed to us that now was the time.  We researched and did our homework, but nothing could prepare us for the “hard” that was to come.

We thought the “hard” was all the paperwork and the red tape that we seemed to be constantly running into.  And while that was definitely a challenge, it was nothing compared to this stage of just waiting.  At least then we had something to do with papers and meetings.  Now, all we can do is try to live our lives while we constantly check our phones for emails or texts of a potential situation that we might be able to afford and might work out for us, to say yes to be presented, only to wait even more to see if that birth mother would like to choose us out of the many amazing families presented to her. 

We thought we had experienced loneliness before.  We had no idea what loneliness was.  This is lonely.  There are some things we are allowed to share, some things we are not.  No one that we know understands what we’re going through, not because they don't try to, just because every journey is so unique.  Our friends and family do an amazing job of encouraging us and we are so thankful for them, because without their support, we wouldn’t be able to do it at all.  But there are no words that can really take the pain away of finding out that you were not chosen by a birth mother, or that you cannot move forward with a situation simply because you can’t afford it.

It is so lonely.  That’s the only word we can come up with to adequately describe the feelings.  Yes, we have each other.  But the truth is, the pain of seeing your best friend and the love of your life hurting is even more painful than what we feel ourselves. It’s always on our mind and it’s always on our lips in prayer, yet we have to keep living life as if nothing is happening, not knowing if we will be parents tomorrow, next month or even next year.

So, the “hard” of adoption is definitely hard.  It’s harder than we ever imagined it would be.  So as you pray, pray for strength and peace.  Pray that the right situation will come soon and that God will remove any financial or logistical hurdles.  Pray for comfort in our hearts.  Thank you all for being on this journey with us.

Thank you to our friends, who have prayed for us and encouraged us.  Please keep it up.

Thank you to our families, who have lent us so much strength and courage.  Thank you for your constant prayers and encouragement as well.  Please keep it up.

Hebrews 11:1 says, “Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen: it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.”  We are thankful for our God who has always been faithful and will remain faithful throughout this process.

Humbly,

Jason & Caitlin

Puzzle Update!!!

We just wanted to thank those who have given so far!  We cannot do this without you and you each mean so much to us!  We want to also thank the groups who have given.  Our Students and Youth Volunteers at Marion Baptist who came together and adopted puzzle pieces and also Life in Christ Church who adopted a puzzle piece!  Thank you all from the bottom of our hearts!

****UPDATE**** September 15 -  Thank you to those who have given already!  We wanted to update on the numbers that have been spoken for as of today (September 15).  Those numbers are: 1-27, 29-31, 39, 45, 50-52, 57, 59, 62, 80, 88, 100, 106, 127, 173, 198, 200, 204, 222, 230 and 297-300.  All others are still available!  Thanks again!

We are finally finished with most of the paperwork!!!  We just got word today that we are officially active!!!  This is the time we have been waiting for!  We now wait for the situation God's designed for us to come along!  Thank you all for your prayer and support through this process.  Keep it up!

Now here comes the really hard part.  We have prayed about this for quite some time.  For those of you familiar with adoption or who have adopted, you understand the financial hurdle (details below).  This has been the one constant that has concerned us most from the beginning. However, we know God will take care of this hurdle.  For many, it is the one thing that keeps them from adopting at all.  The costs add up so quickly.

We really prayed hard about how to financially make it possible. We have saved ourselves, but there’s no way for us to be able to save enough. We have applied for grants and will hopefully receive some of those, but it isn’t guaranteed. At times, our pride has made us feel like we need to do this all on our own and prevented us from asking for help.  Over the last several months, people began asking how they could help us and we just kept telling everyone to pray. We didn’t realize that God wanted to use others to bless us. People wanted to pray, but they also wanted to do more.  

We were too ashamed to ask for help financially, until one person said to us, “You know, you need to realize that it’s a blessing for people to be able to help you some financially in this journey, and by not allowing them to help, you’re not allowing them to experience that blessing.”

That completely changed our perspective.  We then realized that so many people wanted to help out.  Some who have been praying for years along with us to have children, some who may not be in a place themselves to adopt, and some who simply wanted to reach out a helping hand.

So, with humble hearts, we ask for help.  There is no easy or elegant way to say that we cannot do this alone.  We need you.

So, how can you help?  Adopt a Puzzle Piece!  We have puzzle pieces numbered 1-300.  Each number represents that corresponding dollar amount (ex., #1 is $1, #157 is $157, etc.).  We are asking everyone to adopt a numbered puzzle piece and give that amount.  You can adopt a combination of numbers or even adopt a number as a group or family.  Each person will receive a puzzle piece (or pieces if you adopt more than one) as a keepsake and prayer token to help remember to be in prayer for our soon-to-be growing family!  We will keep this page updated on the available numbers as we go along. (If you have already given through the church, we thank you!!!  If you would like that gift to be applied to a puzzle piece(s), please let us know and we would be happy to do that!)

We will also have a matching puzzle piece that will have your name (family or individual name) on it.  When complete, the puzzle will be hung in a double-sided frame with the picture on one side and the names of all those who gave sacrificially and prayerfully for this child to be in our arms.

How do you give?  There are a couple options.  We have set up a PayPal account for those who would like to give electronically (Donate below).  You can also give directly with a check via mail, which is the preferred method (email us at bringinghomedbaby@gmail.com for our home address).  All amounts are appreciated.  This would not be possible without you!  Thank you in advance for blessing us through your outstretched hand!

 

So why does it cost so much?  Well, that is a good question.  Our situation could be as much as $40,000 plus $5,000 for consulting and home study fees, totaling $45,000.  Here is a breakdown of average costs for a domestic adoption (these are estimates, not exact):

Adoption Consultants/Referral Firm -  $3,500

Home Study - $1,500

Agency Fees - $15,000

Court/Legal Fees - $2,000 - $4,000

Documentation - $500

Birth mother expenses - $5,000

Hospital/Health expenses - $10,000 - $15,000

Travel/Hotel expenses - $3,000 - $5,000

Post Placement fees - $500

Miscellaneous - $500 - $5,000

It is hard to be exact because every situation is so different.  Of course, we pray it will be as inexpensive as possible, but that is out of our control.  If you have any questions or would like more details or clarification, please don’t hesitate to contact us at bringinghomedbaby@gmail.com.

Thank you to our students!

Our students (and student leaders!) have the biggest hearts!!! This morning, they surprised us with a generous donation for our Adopt a Puzzle Piece fundraiser. They shared that they had been secretly collecting money for weeks! 

"Thank you" does not even begin to express our gratitude to each of our students and leaders. This gift has helped to ease the financial burden of adoption. Your thoughtfulness and generosity means so much to us!!! You all are awesome! 

These students have been some of our biggest supporters and prayers warriors throughout this journey. We are so blessed to know that Baby Dunbar will have so many "big brothers" and "big sisters" to look up to. We love you all very much!!!